Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Broken wings...



The loud, raunchy music blared and it was almost deafening in the dimly lit room filled with the stench of alcohol & cigarette smoke. The frequent wolf whistles & constant ogling of sex starved eyes wrecked her nerves. The senseless life at the night club was wearing her down. She longed to run away from this bleak, seedy world where nothing except sex survived!



She detested the giggling of teenaged girls on the balcony of the building where she lived with other sex workers. Those young girls have just been thrown into the profession and they seemed to adjust so well, so soon. She was amazed by how easily they learnt the tricks of the trade...their eyes always inviting, to lure customers. She remembered how she was pushed into this hell at the age of 14. The faceless men who ravished her young body made her shiver now...it was almost 10 years ago. Why did life treat her so mercilessly, she wondered. She was just another simple girl with simple dreams of a happy life! She was now a wingless bird...trapped forever.



That night she looked out her window and admired the full moon in all its glory. Memories of her childhood streamed in...of her grandma narrating lovely stories about the moon during bedtime. The fantastic world weaved by her grandma took her into her world of dreams as she cuddled up in her bed. That was then...now every night was just a senseless orgy. How could her beautiful secure world suddenly collapse was something she could never comprehend. It was now simply beyond her ability to retrace steps and go back to her old world.



Rough hands fondled her, men, with breath reeking of cheap alcohol, grabbed her wildly...she wanted to die that very instant. She tightened herself everytime someone came near...and what followed would simply be a kind of ritual that she had learnt all these years. She had encountered strange men yet never did she feel the urge to know anyone on a personal level. It was just her body that she provided...and that was all. She developed a stoic attitude towards the beastliness that she faced each night. She was able to encounter every untamed beast that pounced upon her night after night. She felt like getting some kind of a delight out of it lately. What has gotten over her, she wondered. She never wanted this before...why the sudden change? Perhaps a bird with broken wings could tell her...



Wednesday, September 14, 2011

In two minds ...



Wish to scream, I wish to cry
Wish to scream, I wish to die
Lay buried in the earth
Where leaves fall and dry…
Make me bud again
Water my roots…pluck me from the dead
Unchain me, comfort me…Make me live again!
I wish to scream, want to cry
Wish to scream, I want to die
Lie buried in the deep blue sea
Clinging to my agony…

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Ruins

A skeletal frame with a gaping mouth stood beside a pile of human carcasses & held out its hand towards her………”Come to me”, it whispered….Jahnvi woke up with a start. It was five in the morning. She remembered that they would be traveling to Pelling, their last destination in the Sikkim trip. After a hot shower, Jahnvi decided to take a stroll in the hotel complex before waking up Aakash. Their hired vehicle was supposed to arrive at 8 am.
The drive to Pelling was a long one. Jahnvi read about The Ruins of Pelling in some travel magazine. Being a History Major student, she had always wanted to explore it. Aakash’s hectic office schedule made it difficult for them to plan a holiday. She wanted it badly. Two and a half years of wedded life and she does not remember any holiday other than their honeymoon trip to Goa. But now they were finally in Pelling, the place Jahnvi had been longing to visit.
The next morning, Jahnvi & Aakash got ready for sightseeing. Their first stop would invariably be The Ruins! An hour’s drive or so brought them to the ancient capital of the Sikkimese rulers. Jahnvi felt a nervous excitement as they stepped out of the car and headed towards the entry point. They would have to walk much before arriving at the actual site. There were a few other tourists, mostly foreigners, who had a local guide with them. Jahnvi and Aakash walked up to the main area. Something was hypnotic about the place, thought Jahnvi. Meanwhile, Aakash got busy taking pictures of the ancient seat of power. Jahnvi quietly strolled around the place, soaking in the antiquity. She wondered about the events which these broken down structures had been a witness to – wars lost and won, regal weddings, conspiracies, secret affairs, births and deaths – the walls seemed to tell so many stories!
Aakash suddenly realized that Jahnvi was nowhere in sight. Where did she disappear? The other tourists were on their way out. He called out to her but in vain. The sun shone strongly, leaving his throat parched. He discovered a stone slab in the shade and sat there, gulping down almost the entire water from the bottle. The heat made him drowsy and Aakash thought of a quick nap as he waited for Jahnvi to return. An hour and a half elapsed. Aakash woke up to the sound of footsteps nearby. Jahnvi walked towards him, a haggard look on her otherwise cheerful face. Before he could ask her anything, she informed him that she had seen a monk walking towards a passage inside the broken down palace. Curious, she had followed him quietly. He turned back and saw her but continued to move on. Jahnvi thought he looked rather gaunt and frail in appearance. Almost skeletal, one could say. The passage grew darker as it sloped down to some kind of an underground chamber. Before she realized where she was, Jahnvi found herself all alone. The monk, whom she had been following, simply disappeared! The hot air choked her and she groped her way back to the entrance of the passage, somehow. Jahnvi confessed that she would have loved to explore the underground chamber. Aakash felt an eeriness about the whole episode and said it was time to leave. They had other places to visit.
That evening as they dined at the restaurant, Jahnvi was lost in thought. While Aakash relished some local delicacies, she contemplated on her next visit to The Ruins. She has to visit it again. Aakash woke early the next morning. He decided not to wake Jahnvi since she had a disturbed sleep the previous night. She was mumbling something about the monk and the dead people in her sleep. Aakash decided to take a walk in the crisp morning air and clear his mind of the strange thoughts about Jahnvi which troubled him all night. An hour later, he returned to the hotel and was informed by the receptionist that Jahnvi has left the key at the front desk saying she would be back in a couple of hours. Aakash instinctively knew that she was back at The Ruins. He felt so helpless, so confused. Why did Jahnvi get obsessed with that place?
Meanwhile, Jahnvi walked briskly towards the broken down palace. There were no tourists yet and she was glad for that. She strode straight to the passage and looked around to check if anyone was watching her. Then she steadily walked down the passage, gradually descending into the dark chamber below. Switching on the flash light, Jahnvi took one step at a time, trying to study the faded wall murals. There were symbolic graffiti on the walls – human skulls, distorted and agonizing faces, fire in a pit, ritual dances, scenes of copulation, etc. Suddenly she heard the familiar “Come to me…” being whispered into her ears! She looked around to discover the gaunt monk standing close by. He held out his bony hand towards her. As if in a trance, she took his hand and was led further down. A pungent, rotten smell made her nauseous. Soon Jahnvi stepped on something hard and almost tripped. The flash light dropped on the floor with a thud, the sound reverberating through the emptiness of the place. She groped for the light in sheer darkness and having found it, switched it on at once. To her utter horror, she found herself amidst a pile of human skeletons, the ones she had dreamt of on several nights. Jahnvi realized that she was inside some kind of a crypt. The monk had vanished again. Was this some kind of a death trap? She tried to scream but couldn’t. A bony hand seemed to strangulate her and she gasped for breath. Jahnvi saw the monk with the skeletal visage towering over her. “Come to me”, it whispered again. She blacked out…
Recovering her senses, Jahnvi found herself in the hotel room with Aakash sitting next to her on the bed. She was running high fever. The hotel manager had informed a local doctor who was on his way. One of the attendants stood near the door, asking if any help was needed. Jahnvi turned to look at him…his gaunt and frail look seemed so familiar! Aakash said that they would be checking out within two days. Jahnvi would surely recover by then, he assured her. But The Ruins still beckoned her....could she ever go back, she wondered.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

HUSH...............

The car sped through the road that was lined with trees bearing bright yellow flowers. Spring has indeed arrived. She could feel the verve of the season inside her. She looked out of the car’s window, admiring the landscape, a flutter in her heart. He sat beside her, driving and talking almost nonstop. Thoughts flooded her mind…will life be always as pleasant as this drive? Will he remain ever so cheerful? She was whisked away into a world of dreams whenever he was with her. Was it love? She thought. She knew he was watching her and was anticipating her to speak up. But she could hardly say something. Words didn’t matter much to her. It was just being close to him which mattered. She wondered if he would understand how she felt. Could he ever comprehend her joy while being with him? They drove on. It was almost dusk. A soothing instrumental number on the car stereo made her feel that life can’t be more beautiful!! She silently prayed that it stays that for her, always. She recalled the unforgettable moments of walking hand in hand on a muddy pathway through a paddy field earlier that afternoon. The light drizzle made the experience so blissful. She wished that he knew how much she loved every moment with him. Did he think her to be too shy and reticent? But she loved being silent, taking comfort in his presence. She wanted to let silence prevail as they drove on under the starry sky. Was it boring for him? Honestly, she did not care. Love is to be felt in silence rather than expressed in words…words didn’t mean much to her, anyway...